Updated: Jun 2
Hey Y'all! Mania is still in full effect. I know I drove my boyfriend crazy this weekend with how much I wanted to have sex. Hyper sexuality is also a symptom of mania. It's like I just couldn't get enough. So today's topic is Distorted body image. So i went out last weekend. I wore this white off the shoulder body con dress. Now when I got dressed at home in the mirror, I thought the dress looked good, That night as we were walking in I had my date record me walking in. I didn't watch it back until today and I realized that the dress wasn't as flattering as I thought. This is the thing. I partied all night, and I had a good time because Confidence! I wrote about this in my book; I've had surgeries, with an s. I've had lipo. I got my breast done. I got a tummy tuck and 2 BBLs (brazilian butt lift) chasing that Instagram baddie body. I can't tell you how much I spent but after spending all that money, I still don't have the body I want. I'm still not Big Booty Judy. It's big but it doesn't poke out which is what I really wanted. I have a nice side profile but I don't get that look I want from the back, but i know my angels.
So distorted body image or body dysmorphia Yet another symptom Of BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder I've never talked to my psychiatrist about this but I self- diagnosed myself with body dysmorphia. The symptoms of body dysmorphia are poor body image, you constantly look at your body in the mirror, you compare your body to others, you avoid certain social situations and sometimes photos. So yes, I deal with that. Mine was so bad that I went to the extreme and had surgeries. I'm not saying that everyone who has surgery has body dysmorphia, but I do.
I've been on this journey to loving Arailyus, flaws and all so no more surgeries for me. If you're my size or smaller, I don't recommend getting a BBL because you won't have enough fat to get the results you want. With my breast, I asked for a C and ended up with a D/DD. I have loose skin again from my tummy tuck because my weight has fluctuated. I only recommend a tummy tuck if you can sustain your weight. And when it came to my lipo, when I didn't work out, I gained the weight back. These are the things they don't tell you about surgeries.
Thanks for reading,
Arailyus out #threeredhearts