Letting Go of Dead Situations: Respecting Yourself Even When It’s Hard
Jasmine had been seeing Marcus for a few months now. From the start, she had a feeling that he wasn’t serious about her. She told him straight up: “You’re not really feeling me like that, you just wanna fuck.” Of course, he denied it, but his actions told a different story. He would gaslight her, breadcrumb her, and ignore her calls.
In the beginning, Marcus seemed perfect, almost too perfect. Jasmine even warned him that things would change after they had sex because she knew that was his overall goal. You know he denied it, but his actions showed otherwise. They went from spending hours on the phone talking to him taking hours to respond back to her, just like she said he would. When she mentioned it, he would suddenly text back with the excuse that he was busy. During sex, he would make sure he fucked her good, all the while filling her head with lies. She knew he was full of shit, but initially, she was lonely and wasn’t ready to let go of him, so she excused his behavior.
One night, they made plans to hang out. Jasmine called and texted him, but he didn’t respond. The next morning, she received a lame excuse: “Good morning beautiful, I fell asleep.” Frustrated and tired of the excuses, Jasmine knew it was time to face the truth.
As much as Jasmine hated being alone, she hated being lied to and led on even more. Respecting herself meant not putting up with someone who didn’t value her. And this wasn’t just about romantic relationships—it stood true for any kind of relationship. If someone isn’t genuinely there for you, why waste your time?
Jasmine understood that loneliness could be unbearable. But staying in a dead situation just because she was afraid to be alone was even worse.
Often, we hold on because we’re scared. Loneliness can make us vulnerable to negative thoughts, telling us we’re unworthy, unlovable, that no one wants us. But Jasmine knew she had to be stronger than that.
She reminded herself to trust that even in her loneliness, she was not truly alone. Yes, it was tough because she craved physical presence, someone to touch her and tell her it would be okay. But she had to believe in something greater, a sense of self-worth that went beyond physical companionship.
So, Jasmine made the hard choice. She texted him back, “I did too, in that other nigga’s bed,” and blocked him.
“Even if I unblock him in the future, he’ll at least know not to fuck with me, so I’m proud of myself in the present,” she thought to herself.
She knew it wouldn’t be easy, but she also knew that respecting herself was the most important thing, so she made a conscious decision to focus on herself.
If you’re in this place, or know someone who is, share this story. Let’s remind each other that we deserve better and that it’s okay to let go of what isn’t good for us.
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