I originally wrote this as a Facebook post where I included pictures.
Disclaimer: I am aware that I have gained weight but I actually love it. I don’t know why I want to be skinny so bad when in my opinion, I look better with some weight on me, plus my the ass is back My appetite finally returned but I have developed a serious sweet tooth that CJ stays on me about. I haven’t decided whether I’m going to start back working out or have surgery again. I’m still weighing my options. Wow, I didn’t realize I missed writing so much. It really is the best therapy. Now that that’s out of the way, enjoy
I don’t know why satan is always at me other than the fact that I’m just God’s favorite. Back in June I stopped taking all of my medicines. Physically, I feel better but mentally it’s been rough. I had been on my medicine for 6 years so my mind is still adjusting back so I’ve been going through every emotion. Just like everyone else, life has been lifing so add on that and you get depression in Arailyus. It’s been rough but CJ’s here so he’s been helping. I don’t just say this because he’s my son but he gives the best advice. He told me I have to be stronger than my thoughts and to not let them control me. He told me he gets some of the same thoughts as me but they don’t faze him because he’s in control. He also told me to stop focusing on my past. (I told him I wish I could’ve given them a better life.) He told me I’m an amazing mom and that he’s happy for our struggles because it made us the strong people we are today. He told me to start getting out of the house so I did. I’ve been shopping and having brunch with Taleida and Tree and I went to Charlie’s art show on a date. And why no one told me that Columbus was a vibe? Something else I did was start dating again. I’m on a dating website. I won’t say which one because I’ve seen a few of y’all on there. I thought about taking screenshots and sending them to some of y’all but I said y’all might think I’m flirting so I didn’t. I stopped writing but these guys make me want to put my writer’s hat again cause y’all are crazy and weird. Nothing against dating websites, I just don’t think I’m going to meet the one online. I believe God has a plan for the man he’s going to send for me, but in the meantime it does give me something to do and what girl doesn’t like to be asked out and treated special? If nothing else it’s a free meal and or conversation and sex (if that’s your thing). And I’m confused because I thought I was on a dating site, these guys aren’t looking for relationships. Anyway, I’ve also been praying to God for a positive circle of females that I can connect with and go to church with and this weekend gave me that. I went to a self care and single mom’s event. Both events were amazing. I met some amazing women and got to focus on my mental health. I also went to my first Sneaker Ball and found out about a military sorority that I’m thinking about joining from Charmaine. Today I attended a new church with a couple new friends and got to meet Casey J. She complimented me and told me she loved my earrings I got from Meketa. That girl brought the whole Holy Ghost in that building and the pastor was amazing too. He was preparing us for bigger and better. I love how welcoming and comfortable I felt there. I felt like I belonged there. They also have a kid’s dance team that performed today. I loved it. After church me and my new friend Taylor went to lunch then we sat out on my patio and had some amazing single mom talk. You don’t realize how much you have in common with someone until you start talking to them. Her daughter is a doll. I loved how aware she was of herself and how she carries herself at such a young age. We didn’t even get a pic today. This weekend was much needed and I’m looking forward to the next one.