🕊 I Didn’t Think I Was Asking for Much

“I want connection, but I don’t trust it anymore.”

“I’m not jaded… but I am tired.”

“I see clearly now. And what I see hurts.”

I used to think I was asking for too much.

But looking back now, I realize… I wasn’t.

I’m not asking for money & I’m definitely not asking for clout!

All I’m asking for is love. Real love.

Friendship that doesn’t feel forced.

Support that doesn’t come with conditions.

And people who show up because they’re truly happy for me, not because they feel “obligated.”

I thought that was normal.

I thought that was just the “human way.”

Turns out, it’s obviously not like that for me.

Because somewhere along the way, I had to learn that the people I thought were laughing with me…

were actually laughing at me.

That the people I kept hoping would see me…

never even looked in my direction.

And that maybe the love I gave so freely…

was never going to be returned.

And that hurts.

It hurts because I still want it.

I still want to believe in people.

But now?

Shit…

I’m starting to accept that I may be walking this road alone forever.

Okay,

maybe not forever…

But for now.

Because fake friendships leave bruises you don’t always see.

And I don’t have the energy to keep handing myself to people who only know how to take.

I’m tired of trying to prove I’m worth loving.

Tired of wondering what’s wrong with me.

Tired of hoping this time will be different.

It’s not fair.

But it is my truth.

And I’ll take the truth,

even when it’s lonely,

over the illusion that someone cares… when they never did.

…

I wanted love. I wanted loyalty. I wanted friendship.

But I was willing to accept it from people who had no intention of standing with me when the storms came.

And if the foundation ain’t real…

If it’s not rooted in truth…

If it’s not built on God…

It will crumble.

No matter how good it looks.

No matter how long it lasted.

I finally get it now:

God isn’t punishing me.

He’s protecting me from building on sand.

📖 “The rain came, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

— Matthew 7:27